By Eddy Aguilar Saba
I remember my first Argentine tango class maybe about 10
years ago when life was so crazy in the craziest city I have ever lived in, the
one and only New York City. I do remember dressing up, had fishnet stockings,
black pants, because that’s what you are supposed to do, I thought. Within
minutes of entering the class I wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere. I felt
exposed, awkward, intimidated, clumsy. You know that feeling that you are
the only weird person in the room, and everyone is staring at you? That
feeling.
I remember watching, with my mouth literally open, a teacher
gracefully moving in front of the mirror as I was trying to hide my disgust at
my own reflection. And then there was another person in front of me, holding my
arms as she tried to figure out how to move my body in a particular pattern.
So that is the feeling I have now when I think about people
surrounding me, people dancing life with me. They are all strangers’ dancers in
many ways. We all have different rolls in life, no true friendship exists. It
is all calculated, you see kindness but is all just like air, it does not really
have color or essence or even movement. It feels awkward.
As many dancers will agree, dance is a metaphor for
life. Especially within the context of dancing with partners, life’s dramas get
played out in the microcosm of the dance floor. Every form of insecurity,
doubt, fear, pleasure, desire, heartbreak, and bliss gets expressed at some
point, starting with that very first baffling experience of having to move
together with other bodies and questioning the rightness of every action,
facing the inner critic. And yes, that is life.
Now I take it for granted that I come to a foreign country
and without question I have been dancing with complete strangers, but confident
in my ability to connect with some bodies and eager to experience the music of
life. As I reflect on my journey thus far, I must say I have discover some
insights that I came to through dancing with strangers: we are all
bodies with particular abilities and limitations, we all want to be
attractive, we are all searching for connection, we are all trying to heal
through relationships.
There are many more lessons and insights to share. They all
revolve around the same themes though. The same unifying principles
organize any creative, collaborative, life endeavor: acceptance of who we are,
curiosity about what else we can be, and celebrating the process of becoming…
together.
Life is definitely a dance.
